Is it normal to miss your booty call?
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
