so that wasnt chicken after all
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Sorry my hands just texted you
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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