White coat. Heels.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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