sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
