I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize