I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
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Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
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