My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
