This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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