Cold hands, warm shart.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Randomize
