you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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