Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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