you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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