if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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