How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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