He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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