that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
