Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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