a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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