Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
