so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
