I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
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Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
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Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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