"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
