I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
