i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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