When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
