Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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