Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
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... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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