i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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