Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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