you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
