Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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