i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
