Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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