she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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