Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I currently don't understand fingers.
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