we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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