normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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