I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
