the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
And the cops told us we were all naked.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
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