dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
