If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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