love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
