It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
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