Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Randomize
