Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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