dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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