FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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