I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
