i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
