I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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