he thought i was a dude.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Randomize
