I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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