Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
His hands were made for my vagina.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
