i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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