Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize
