i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
We named our party play list daddy issues
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Farmville is her only friend.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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