i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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