Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
