im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize