Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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