She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
